Knock, Fall or Scar

Peculiar, strange, weird, gifted… sometimes these words are all used to describe the same person, depending on who is using them of course. As a child, each one was probably used to describe me. Some friends called me strange, others weird, yet in the home I was always told I was gifted… special is the right word and of course that was from mum. You may be wondering where I am going with this. Well, the truth is, most people, go through life unsure and stumble or discover certain aspects of themselves that they never knew. For example, one might discover that they actually love making music or drawing, better yet that they want to save the world e.g superman.

What I am getting at is that in life it is possible to discover something about yourself that you never knew existed within as you go on your journey. Maybe that’s why self-exploration is heavily encouraged in certain cultures. Because for some people that’s the only way they can truly find out what their hidden purpose, joy and passion in life is.

 But there are the few individuals out there who from as far back as they can remember have always had a sense what lay hidden within and what they are destined to be. They may not have the full picture, but they are fully conscious of themselves. If they do explore, they’ll explore what they know they have. I believe that this group of people often have it harder than the rest.

 Why? Because humans dislike those who are sure of themselves, what they’re about and where they are going. More so if it doesn’t fit into the social norms of the day. Maybe that’s why they tend to find themselves alone and misunderstood. These individuals are sure that somehow, irrespective of current circumstances, they were created to be and to make a difference.

The challenge with greatness though, is that it can get to your head and in some cases stay there and never see the light of day. So, no matter how great you think you are destined to be or have discovered you will be, you still have to go out and make it happen. And sure this means you might get some knocks and scars along the way. However, I’d like to believe the beauty in all that is each knock, fall or scar, makes you look more and more like the greatness you alone see but are destined to become.

‘No matter how much you try, the tree won’t grow until you plant the seed.’- Anonymous.

Sometimes Peace Is More Beautiful Than Excitement

I haven’t written anything in a while, so this piece maybe a little different from others I have written before. Much has happened, jobs were lost, jobs were found. New friends have been made, and old friends have become strangers. Some have had children and hearts have been broken. Relationships ended, challenges were there and victories too. I think there’s a phrase or rather a word that sums up all these events and activities, its called LIFE.

I came across a story, or maybe I made it up, and if I did then let’s give credit where credit is due.

‘There was a young man in the northern part of Zambia and the region he lived in was surrounded by water and islands, almost each island had a village on it. He’s name was Muku and met a very cute lady with an amazing sense of humour called Nala. The two fell in love and before long they were married. One day the Muku went out to fish as was custom in that part of the country and he’s little boat capsized due to the strong river current. He was drowning but a lady from the nearby village island saw him, dived into the water and saved him. Nongé  took him into her village on and took care of him for a few days. Afterwards, when Muku had regained strength, he returned to he’s island much to the joy and excitement of his family and Nala. After a while, he’s wife asked if he had taken a gift to the person who had saved him to which he replied that he hadn’t. So she gave him a gift, and being afraid of the water herself, sent him on his way alone.

He returned to the island, found Nongé and gave her the gift which she loved and she would not stop stating how much she loved the gift. It was a piece of orange and red African print. The two spent the afternoon together chatting… none of them realised that the sun had set because of their excitement… Muku would continue seeing Nala each day he went out to ‘fish’ which became daily.

Nala it seemed, didn’t shine as bright as she used to and each day she got dimmer in his eyes while the Nongé  appeared to shine brighter and brighter. The two of them realised that they had more in common with each other than anyone else in their respective villages. They saw life through the same lens and in no time developed a friendship that quickly turned into something more. He could never get over her smile and she couldn’t get over the sound of his laughter, especially when it echoed through the trees.

One afternoon however, he returned to ‘fish’ but this time something was different, Nongé had tears in her eyes. She confronted him and asked if he was married, to which he admitted that he was much to his shame. She told him she could never be second to another woman and he said she never will be but he could not leave his wife. Nothing more had to be said and the two hugged for awhile, knowing that it would be their last embrace. They got to the rivers edge and  Nongé walked away from the shore, never turning back. Muku got into his boat and looked back to see if he would catch a final glimpse of her, but he didn’t. They both returned to their homes, heart broken and silent.

Fifty years later Muku left for the capital city to witness the marriage of his granddaughter. As the reception was going on, he sat in a corner all by himself. He felt a gentle tap on he’s shoulder and turned to see who it was. It was Nala and he’s soon to be son-in law. Next to them was a grey haired lady wearing a familiar orange and red chitenge. “Mr Bwalya, I’d like to introduce you to Mrs Nongé Bupe, my grandmother”…’ 

Some might say stories like that don’t happen and others that they do. Truth be told, both are probably right. One thing I do know is that sometimes peace is more beautiful than excitement, phoenixes don’t always rise from ashes and life is unpredictable. All we can do is keep trusting God.

Learn and Embrace Your Mistakes

I remember a day in when I was younger that changed my life. For good or worse, I wasn’t sure at the time… We just got promoted to writing with pens instead of pencils and I was so excited. After about a month or so, I had a mathematics test and during this test I made so many mistakes. Each time I made an error, I got a ruler and crossed it out, I then either wrote besides the cancelled text or over it.

Finally, I handed in my paper when I was done answering. It turned out that though my final answer was correct, my teacher rejected my paper and gave me an ‘F’ because of how ‘untidy’ my work was. From then on, I always wrote my tests and homework in pencil first, writing over it in pen only after I was certain or satisfied with my answer. This meant having to answer each question twice within a short period of time.

Years later, I realized how frustrating and time consuming this process became. Especially when I was given a very short period of time to solve a problem. Slowly but surely, I would write certain answers directly in pen. Before I knew it, I was solving entire problems in pen. Of course, I would make mistakes here and there, but the more comfortable I got writing in pen, the less mistakes I made. I guess rather than completely turn to writing in pencil again earlier on, I should have continued writing in pen despite my mistakes. I now know that with time, I would have made less mistakes and my work would have gotten much tidier.

Though it’s not much. I guess this reflects the way we can handle a mistake wrongly. At times we may be hard and unforgiving of ourselves. But lets make those mistakes, and learn/grow from them because how we handle one error might determine how we will go about the next one. should simple own up and learn from them.